A Travellerspoint blog

Prescription of a Broken Heart

Everyone brings happiness, some by coming, some by going...

sunny

This is the continuation of, Si Jelly at Koko.

break.jpg caption

Me: Everything happens for a reason.

Jelly: The tough part is finding the reason, isn't it?

Me: I know you have awesome plans about your future and memorable past, but you got to live your today to the fullest.

Jelly: You don't understand, you don't know how it feels like to lose everything...

Me: (Speechless)

......... and the crying continues....

Since umalis ako papuntang Visayas region ngayon because of my work demand, I decided to write an email to Jelly at sa iba pang broken hearted, para sa ATIN 'to! :)

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Being a heartbroken is a pain that no one can understand until they have experienced it for themselves. Jelly, friend, you obviously have, therefore you are aware of how fragile your heart is right now. Healing a broken heart will take time, but it is not impossible, though it may feel that way at the time. It is never an easy process to go through, but with right prescription, you will be on your way to recovery and happiness again.

The first thing you should keep in mind is that it is okay to feel sad and grieve about what happened and that you are not stupid for doing so. It is perfectly normal to feel sad and cry after a break up. You have invested most of your time and all of your love and interest on your ex-partner; therefore will go through a sad and painful withdrawal. It is notable that you not grieve all on your own. Sure, there will be times when you will just want to be alone and undisturbed. However, it is important that you talk to your friends and family about it. Talking about it is not only healthy, but will mend your heart quicker because you will release the thoughts and facts that are hurting you so much. Seeking professional advice will be a great help to you as well because your mind will open up and see new perspectives and understandings on what happened. It will help you gather your strength, pick yourself up, and find the happiness you deserve to have.

Accepting the fact that you and your ex-partner are no longer together is a necessity if you are going to start mending your broken heart. If you catch yourself unable to function due to constantly thinking about your ex or repeatedly calling or visiting him for another chance, then chances are you are suffering from love addiction and should seek counseling. Discontinuing a serious relationship is emotionally challenging and can drive you to do things that are unhealthy for your self-being. To avoid entering such hazardous areas, keep yourself occupied. Go out with friends and family to help get your mind off the break up. It is the best to spend as less time alone as you can in the first few weeks of your breakup so that your emotions can slowly and patiently from back into their normal pattern.

Fight the thoughts that tell you that you are a failure and are to blame for the end of your relationship. When a relationship ends it means that the two of you are no longer compatible and that always takes two, not just you. Instead of beating yourself up over what has transpired, examine your ex-relationship by listing the things you enjoyed most about it and then the things that disappointed you and what you believe really caused the breakup. Look at the relationship as a learning experience and an opportunity to improve your relationship skills, and a way to realize what you truly need and want from a relationship.

Hope this helps girl!
No one is ever going to always be there no matter what they promise you. You just gotta suck it up and accept it. Sometimes, a love lost is a love gone forever. I believe that it's not right to let go of what you've had for so long, but it's not right, either, to hold onto what's not there anymore. Letting go is difficult but it's better than holding on when there's nothing left to hold on to. Sometimes people hold onto something too tight cos they're afraid nothing that great will happen to them again. But, remember that most of the time, saving a relationship alone destroys your very own self.

I know its hard to let GO and move on. But someday you will see, eventually things will fall into place when you stop waiting, and start living.

FIGHTING!!!

Love,
Kim
mary.applesmith@gmail.com

Posted by prettydevil 11:12 Archived in Philippines Tagged breakups Comments (0)

New Email Address

Hello!

Ive got new email address guys. Again, please feel free to mail me. Im reading them.
New email: mary.applesmith@gmail.com

Would love to hear from you!
Cheers!

Posted by prettydevil 11:09 Comments (0)

Love Advice

I wasn't very active here anymore after several blogs I left my job (that time! Which you can surf the net during work hours). I did not realize I have few readers. And to those who send their emails, Ive been reading them and there's a mail I feel like I have to answer.

To Sorceress11,

Hello! I don't know what pushed you to choose me to send a mail, to ask for advice but I appreciate it. I really do. And here's what I can say...

(Signpost)

I always say to my friends this and it really sounds cliche but yeah, its very easy to say or advise someone what you think is best for them. But why they are'nt listening? Because they only know what they feel. You dont. Every situation is unique. Hindi mo pwedeng sabihin na you've been on that situation many times dahil hindi lahat ng sitwasyon pareho. Hindi rin pare-pareho ng taong involve sa isang sitwasyon. (Ito ay signposting ko lang, hindi pa to ang advice ko, lol)

Anyway, what I am thinking is, you are clinging on something you really never had. The guy you are inlove with is with someone else. Why? Because maybe he is lying to you, using you, playing with you or maybe love you but not enough. Or afraid to face the unknown with you. You see, the guy leave the country and follow the real girlfriend because he has dreams bigger than you. If he really loves you, he will break whatever he has with the girl he is with now. But he didn't. They've been in a relationship for almost 9 years. Relationships like that is very hard to shake. Sometimes one of them is "naliligaw" along the way, but they always go and find their path. People likes to know they have options. You must know that. So you shouldn't believe when he said that he will just pay the girl sa mga nagastos to take him there, kailangan magbayad ng utang na loob for helping him. There's no such thing. Pano kung hindi sya makabayad? Pano kung tamarin na sya magbayad? Investment na sya dun sa girl (time, money and all). Pano kung hindi sya i-let go?

You should know your worth as a woman. You deserve someone who will give you their full attention and someone who will stand for you. Don't waste time for that guy. When we love, all we see is rose-colored glasses. Pero we better open our eyes on what reality is. I know you will come around. Its not much of an advise. Its hard to state the obvious. You're smart. You'll figure a way out.
Good luck!

Kisses,
Kim

Posted by prettydevil 10:45 Tagged love advice heartache Comments (0)

Stranger

sunny

I feel like Im a stranger in this blog. I cant believe I have written such and had few subscribers :)
Will be writing soon friends, changed my Job and its so consuming but I am always missing something I love to do; which is writing.

Posted by prettydevil 19:00 Archived in Philippines Comments (0)

Si Jelly at si Koko

sunny

Last Friday...

5:30 PM

Yey! Maaga akong makakauwi, I missed my bed soooooooooo much!

(Phone rings)

Screeen says, JELLY.

Jelly: Kim kamusta?

Me: Hello, ok naman. Pauwi pa lang ako from office. Ikaw kamusta?

Jelly: Nasa Manila ka ba? Pwede bang pumunta sa inyo?

Me: Naku nasa MARS ako ngayon, joke! Yes, walang rampa ngayon. What's wrong?

Jelly: May share lang ako...

Me: Pagkain ba yan? Tawagan natin sila Tin, gusto mo?

Jelly: Sila na ang una kong tinawagan, kaso weekdays ngayon. May mga pasok sila.

Me: Ah, so last option lang ako?

Jelly: Inarte? Alam ko kasi na palagi kang wala kaya hinuli na kita.

Me: Sus, nagpaliwanag pa. Ano bang meron?

Jelly: Sabihin mo kung hindi ako pwedeng pumunta sa inyo...

Me: Arte much ha? Ikaw pa, GOW lang. Ill wait for you, ok? Ingat ka.

Sa totoo lang, pinagagaan ko lang yung usapan namin ni Jelly. Unang dinig ko pa lang sa boses nya, mukhang malungkot na. Alam ko na agad na may problema sya.

1:00 AM
Sa room ko, nakahiga kaming parehas ni Jelly. Hindi ako lang pala. Sya nakaupo, yakap ang mga tuhod. Umaagos ang luha. Hindi nagsasalita.

Me: Neng, baka gusto mo namang magsalita. Para maka-relate ako sa ine-emote mo.

Jelly: (singhot)

Me: Owkei, salita ka lang pag ready ka na ha? (yawn)

After 33seconds na katahimikan...

Jelly: Koko and I broke up last week.

Me: (Upo) Ang reason?

Jelly: He needs space daw.

Me: If he needs space, he should join NASA.

Jelly: Alam ko na yan.

Me: So, iyon lang? He needs space for what?

(Sa pagkakaalam ko kasi, perfect ang relationship ni Jelly at Koko. Naiinggit nga ako sa kanila eh, wala silang pinag-aawayang malaking bagay, supportive sila sa isat-isa at higit sa lahat, alam kong mahal na mahal nila ang bawat isa.)

Jelly: Yun din ang tanong ko sa kanya. Sinabi ko pa nga sa kanya, kung meron mang iba, he can tell me upfront. But he said na WALA. Matigas ang pagkakasabi nya ng wala and I perfectly know kung talagang nagsisinungaling sya o hindi.

Me: Malay mo naman, na-master na nya bago sabihin sayo. Hehehe

Jelly: Alam mo na hindi kami nag-aaway sa ganyan, hindi sya nagsisinungaling sa akin o kahit kanino. Kapag ayaw nyang marinig mo ang isang bagay, hindi nya na lang sasagutin ang tanong mo.

Me: Sabagay, ganun nga si Koko. Pero things do change and so are people. Wala ka bang napapansin na kakaiba sa kanya?

Jelly: We're normal naman. Hanggang sa these past few months, he's not frequently calling or txting me. Naisip ko busy lang sya. Then all of a sudden sumulpot sya sa office. Inaya akong mag-dinner. He said sorry kung na-neglect nya ko ng mga nakakaraang panahon. Sabi ko naiintindihan ko dahil parehas kaming busy. Sabi ko pa nga lets make it up to each other, gumala kami sa darating na weekend.

...Long pause....

Jelly: He said na may sasabihin sya. Alam mo yung itsura nya na haggard, na alam mong may dinadala sya. Nag-alala naman ako. Tapos ang kasabi sabi sa akin. He wants his freedom. Ang tagal kong hindi nagsalita. Ganun din sya. Basta nakatungo lang sya.

Me: Anong sinabi mo after?

Jelly: Syempre nagtanong ako anong problema, anong nagawa ko, may iba na ba. Typical questions. Inaabangan ko na ngang sabihin nyang meron ng iba, na may pagkukulang ako.. Pero hindi eh, alam mo kung anong sinabi nya? Wala akong kasalanan. He just woke up one morning na hindi nya na ako mahal.

Ang sakit. Paano nangyaring hindi nya na ako mahal, kung walang iba? Possible bang dahilan ng break up yon? May dahilan kung bakit he fall out of love from me. Pero paulit ulit nyang sinabi na walang iba, na walang problema sa akin. Sya ang may problema. Alam mo yun? Mas matatanggap ko pa na ako ang may problema eh, kasi may pagkakataon akong itama at wag syang mawala sa akin. Pero hindi eh... Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin ko that moment. Kami ni Koko, for the past 4 years, wala kaming pinag-awayan, meron man nagagawan agad namin ng paraan, kami na laging nakasuporta sa isat-isa. Alam mo yun lahat ng plano namin together was all shattered in front of me...

Me: Paano kayo naghiwalay?

Jelly: Sabi ko, ayaw ko ng ganun. Pag-isipan nya munang mabuti. Kung nagsasawa na sya sa relasyon namin o sa routine namin. Pwede naming pag-usapan yun. Sabi ko I can give him space. Pero hindi ang break up.

Sabi nya, masaya naman sya sa flow ng relationship namin... Not until these past few months. Talaga daw pinag-isipan nyang mabuti yung moment na yun. Sabi ko, Ill give him another week, mag-isip sya ulit, alalahanin nya ang mga pinagdaanan at pinagsamahan namin sa loob ng apat na taon. Saka nya sabihin ulit sa akin lahat yun, baka may na-miss lang sya sa pag-iisip nya.

Me: So how did you two end up like this?

Jelly: I texted him earlier today. Sabi ko kung nakapag-isip na sya, magkita kami.

....Long pause ulit..

Jelly: He replied, ang sabi "Inalala ko lahat mula simula natin, and that moment, even until now, that you are the girl every man could wish for. Pero iyon pa din ang sagot ko, walang nabago sa nararamdaman ko. Sorry Jelly. I know you've been a good friend and a perfect girlfriend to me, sorry to leave you this way. But I dont love you anymore at ayaw kitang masaktan. Sobrang buti mo." Ang gara, hindi ko matanggap. Walang dahilan, basta hindi ka na lang mahal? Kim, anong explanation don. I really dont understand!

Me: All I can say is, "No amount of hope can bring back to life a relationship that just died a natural death..."

P.S

Saka na yung mahabang payo ko kay Jelly, kasi nagO-OT na naman ako. Hehehe!

Posted by prettydevil 05:25 Archived in Philippines Tagged breakups Comments (0)

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