One of my friend e-mailed me this, panalo eh! So I decided to post. Enjoy!
Girls' and Gays' Most Maldita Moments
The last one I heard from a colleague. Go, add your own taray line!
1. On the first day of the Mango sale, the sister of my
friend was looking around and picked up a dress when a woman
at the counter started screaming,"Put that down,
that's mine!" The sister of my friend looked up,
looked at the woman up and down, raised an eyebrow, and
replied, "Excuse me. You are NOT small'"
2. A supervisor once told a worker who has difficulty in
understanding instructions, "Ang ulo, hindi lang yan
pinapatong sa leeg, ginagamit din yan sa pagiisip."
3. A friend told another friend, "Naku, magme-makeup
muna ako, baka magmukha akong yaya mo." The other
friend replied, "Wag na, magmumukha ka lang yaya ko na
4. I told my then boyfriend during a fight, "Even on
your smartest day, you're not half as smart as I am on
5. "Ako, I was born beautiful. Ikaw, you were just
6. A letter posted on a car windshield in UP:
"Sir/madam, the parking space that we have reserved is
for the College Secretary, not for you. Guard."
7. When I saw a friend I haven't seen in a long time, she
told me, "Grabe, lalo ka pang tumaba!" So I told
her, "Ikaw din, lalo ka pang pumangit!"
8. Pag sinisingitan ako sa pila, nagpaparinig ako. I say,
"Ang pilang ito, according to beauty. Mga panget
9. From the movie She's The Man: "Girls with an
ass like mine don't go out with boys with a face like
10. "Maliban sa mukha mo, ano pang problema mo?"
11. I once told an officemate who kept on bragging about
her new shoes, " Sale , right?"
12 I pointed a "7 items or less" sign to a
clueless pasosyal at the supermarket. She bitchily answered,
"I can read!" Sabay irap. So I shot back with,
"I know, but can you count?"
13. "Tuwing nakikita kita, gusto ko mag-sorry sa eyes
14. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be bitchy.
It's an involuntary reaction whenever I encounter ugly
15. Man: "Hey baby, what's your sign?"
Woman: "Do not enter."
16. Man: "how do you like your eggs in the
Woman: "Unfertilized. "
17. After receiving her pay slip and realizing how much
she's paying for tax, a sosyal officemate exclaimed,
"Ang mga poor ba nagbabayad din ng tax?"
18. During a hike at Mt. Mayon , we had a maarte companion.
When we ran out of water, our guide got us some from a
natural spring. The maarte girl said, "Dini-drink ba
yan?" I told her, "Bakit, sa inyo ba ang water
19. Overheard from 2 kids talking.
Kid 1: "Lahat tayo galing kay Adam and Eve."
Kid 2: "Hindi yan totoo. Sabi ng papa ko, galing tayo
Kid 1: "Hindi natin pinag-uusapn ang pamilya mo, kaya
wag kang magulo!"
20. A friend told his officemate: "I'm impressed.
I've never encountered such a small mind inside such a
big head before."
21. Bading: (envying a girl na crush ng crush nya)
"Isang butas lang ang lamang mo sa kin!"
22. I was staring at an ugly bystander in their street. The
ugly guy snapped, "Bakit ang sama mo makatingin?"
I snapped back, "Eh bakit ang sama mo tignan?"
23. A friend once told me, "Ang ganda mo!" I
answered: "Thank you, sana ikaw rin."
24. I told this to an ex: "I must admit you brought
religion to my life. I never believed in hell till I met
25. "When a cashier tells me she doesn't have
change, I say: "And... kaninong problema yun?"
26. "Kung lahat ng tao galing sa unggoy, bakit ikaw,
mukha kang kabayo?"
27. "Ang pogi-pogi mo wala kang pera? Eeewww!"